Diane and Kat- the Bound Bands Read online

  Sewage

  “Ack! Hmph.”

  Diane looked up from the map of the sewer system, raising an eyebrow as her shorter companion, Kat, pulled at something. She lowered the map further, watching the frantic attempts to get what was probably some sticky sludge off with a bemused smile. Of course, she probably would have panicked too if something had latched onto her. Diane smirked as her dear companion straightened. Now that they were facing each other, she could see the crablike creature that had decided that the other woman’s face would be a good home.

  “Kat, stop playing with the local wildlife.”

  The red-headed girl waved her arms as another muffled scream escaped her. Diane just rolled her eyes, stepping forward, her black dress sliding along the pavement sidewalk, before she pointed two fingers at the shellfish’s back. A small, black pulse ran over the crab and it became still, just before two lines bisected it. It then split into fourths as the force cracked its hard exterior, and sent the pieces flying against the walls.

  For Kat, the spell felt like a wall was slamming into her face. Her arms flailed desperately, an ill fated attempt to get her balance back before falling off of the walkway. Where this led was the place all sewers led, the shallow, disgusting green water below. She gasped for air as she resurfaced, and then stood in the shallow muck, twitching a few times before barfing.

  “Are you okay?”

  Kat looked up at Diane’s small smirk with a furious glare. “I have other people’s crap where nothing is supposed to go!”

  “So you’re fine?”

  Kat gritted her teeth and grabbed ahold of her companion’s leg, before pulling her down. A muffled curse escaped Diane before she was forced all the way off, and even past the knight with how much force was put behind what should have just been a playful tug. As she forced her way out of the gunk, her black robe drenched in the same sludge that her companion was, she hissed, “Do you know how long it will take to get the stench out of this? You have spares!”

  Kat rolled her eyes as she pulled herself back up to the walkway and helped the other woman back to dry land. “I told you you should have put on my old barbarian stuff. This kind of place just isn’t right for silk.”

  Diane huffed, before focusing for a moment. A ripple ran through her clothes, and while it was still freezing cold water, at least now it was clean and could get rid of some of the gunk on herself. “Look, can we just go now? We still have a job to get done.”

  Kat groaned and began to walk as she took a rag from Diane’s shoulder bag and wet it with her canteen. While her chainmail wouldn’t be a problem with the crud on it, the straps and buckles on her breastplate would start to chafe if she didn’t clean them out. “I hate doing stuff like this. I mean, we’re big, tough adventurers, so why are we doing city maintenance?”

  A light sigh came from Diane as the sound of their steps bounced off the walls. “I have told you many times before that while our expeditions are fun, they require capital, and these are the best types of jobs to get that capital with.”

  Kat turned back to the taller woman with a scowl on. “Don’t you mean the most degrading?”

  Diane took in a deep breath as she forced herself to stay calm. Even after almost three years of adventuring together, Kat still couldn’t help but complain unless they were actually dungeoneering. She turned back, her hands on her hips. “Look, I’ve been planning this next expedition for almost two months. You were the one who broke their weapon, so stop complai-”

  Time almost seemed to slow for Kat as the sound of a loud slam echoed through the large, sewer tunnels. She watched as Diane just barely began to turn towards the sound before a short, wooden shaft slammed into her shoulder. The drops of blood hadn’t even hit the cement before the short warrior reached for her broadsword, before cursing at the empty scabbard, and instead pulling out her knife. As another bolt scratched the stones beside her, she slammed her shoulder onto the wall beside the open intersection. Her breath was coming in short, raspy gasps as she could feel a howl echo through her bones. She shut her eyes for a moment and stopped them from dilating before looking past the corner. Her concentration almost shattered though as the other crossbowmen fired a bolt at the stone next to her head.

  “Fucking bandit! Okay, let’s see how well you can track through this.” She reached into her belt. While Diane held onto most of their dungeoneering tools, the sorceress had made Kat a few things to help her with ranged opponents. “Just in case.” Two silver balls rolled around in her hands, slowly getting warmer as they gained friction. She clenched them tight as they almost began to burn, before rolling them around the corner.

  Diane smiled from knee deep in the sewage as she saw the harsh light come from the corridor. It would take her almost an hour to recharge them at camp, but it was better then whenever Kat thought she could dodge arrows. She sat up before stiffening and gritting her teeth, the pain of the crossbow bolt being very real. She knew she should just ignore it, instead of trying to pull it out like most adventurers might. Treating a wound in combat usually just led to more being made, and it had been her folly for not checking around the corner before scolding Kat, so she now needed to make sure neither paid for that further.

  The bandits were only just getting their sight back when the first felt cold steel being thrust into him. Kat slammed her left fist into his cheek to free her blade and saw the two crossbowmen almost jump at seeing her. A small smirk crossed her face as she crouched and charged at the one on her level. The other was on top of the makeshift barricade that they had been instructed to get rid of, along with two other meatheads, but she knew better than to worry about them. The panic in the archer’s eyes had guaranteed the miss that he now made while the other took a deep breath so he could actually make his shot. The last two were slower to recover..

  It was too late though, as Kat rolled forward, making the misfire all the more certain, before she sprang up, her knife making its way across his broad chest, before sinking between his ribs. She could hear the other two bandits fall onto the concrete, screaming at her to stop, but that only made her chuckle. She had a job, and they’d already made a fatal mistake.

  Diane had watched all of this from the cover of the sewer way, even if it meant getting coated in the shallow filth, and saw her companion freeze. She held her good arm out, aimed straight for the remaining crossbowmen. Her magic flowed from her chest, into her arm, before down onto her fingertips to crackle outwards with yellow energy. The bandit had just reloaded, but she knew she was faster.

  The crack of thunder rang through the sewers as the spell’s sound bounced off the stone walls. The bandit it was aimed at heard nothing as his weapon was splintered by pure electricity. Electricity that then shot through him. He looked down at his smoking chest, his head twitching as his breathing stopped, and he fell back onto the other side of the barrier with a splash.

  Kat blinked a few times to try to get her world to stop spinning as she made her way towards the last two. She could tell that one had two knives in his hands, while the other wielded a short sword and a shield. Child’s play to her, especially when the sword was swung at her. She stepped back and let it hit the wood before grabbing the shield, pushing it out of the way, and thrusting forward into the bandit’s chest.

  The other watched his partner in crime fall, before looking into Kat’s eyes. Her once green eyes had an odd red added to them as she pulled her blade free. She ran a tongue over her mouth before shutting those eyes and breathing deeply. She heard the daggers drop to the ground and looked back to see the other bandit running.

  “Are you okay?”

  Kat looked back at Diane, who was only now pulling out the crossbow bolt wh
ile also grabbing some bandages. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

  Diane rolled her eyes. “It’s by far not the worst thing I’ve been hit by. It definitely isn’t worth your bloodlust, even if it caught you by surprise.”

  Kat kept eye contact with Diane for a few more moments, before blushing slightly and turning away. “You saw that, did you?”

  “Yes, and,” she paused to help the sorceress up and peck her on the cheek, “it was very sweet of you.” She then smacked the warrior upside the head. “It was also very stupid. If you’re going into it, either stop it without stopping everything else, or focus on the fight. You could have gotten yourself killed.”

  Kat chuckled a little as she patted just below Diane’s shoulder. “Oh yeah, because we both were great about that today.”

  The sorceress bit into her cheek, before shaking her head and sighing, despite there being a smile on her face. “Alright, you have a point. I’ll be more careful next time.”

  Kat grinned wide. “Ah, sweet music to my ears. Now,” she said with a crack of her knuckles, “let’s get rid of this, shall we?”

  Diane’s eyes widened as Kat slammed her fist through a support beam on the ramshackle dam. No warning, no hesitation, she had just gone ahead and broken the dam. All Diane could do was spin a protective bubble around herself, but she didn’t have time to get one around Kat before the structure collapsed.

  Kat looked down as brown liquid started making its way through the crumbling wood. “Oh shi-”

  It would be almost an hour before the ‘water’logged barbarian was fished out, safe, but humiliated.

  Supplies

  The mayor took one sniff, and knew the job was done. Every hair on his flabby body rose from the stench of victory, but at least it was victory, and not failure. He swallowed hard, his gag reflex threatening to break him as his hands gripped into the chair that he sat in behind his desk in. Two silhouettes appeared on the other side of the door, and he made sure not to show his disgust.

  As the two walked in, he was pleasantly surprised. Despite the foul odor, the two woman at least had had the decency to clean any filth that had clung to their bodies, so he could hope one day the smell would leave his office. He got a scowl from the shorter, redheaded girl as he accidentally licked his lips. With her breastplate gone, currently drying at the inn, she was only in her chainmail and a light tunic, and her well curved body was on much better display than the first time they had met. It was far easier to control himself as he glanced to the soaked sorceress, her dress clinging to her tall, lithe figure, while her hair was matted down against her head. “So, it looks like you two had fun.”

  Kat scowled at him further. “Oh, tons. Almost drowning was a real plus.”

  The mayor shrugged and leaned back in his chair, before rifling through one of his drawers for the money he owed them. “Well, all a normal day’s work for you gals, isn’t it? Fighting monsters, getting filthy; just common work hazards I bet.”

  Diane stepped forward and put a hand on his table. “It isn’t normal; at least, not when I explicitly asked you to divert the sewage so there would be less when we broke the dam. If I hadn’t been on the walkway, you would likely need to pay nothing, instead of having to pay more for your negligence.”

  The mayor leapt from his chair, one hand raised in the air, his eyes level with Diane’s piercing gray gaze. “How dare you accuse me of such things! You should be honored that I would allow you to do service for my town. Most would take one look at two stupid love birds like you and wait for a real adventurer to come. So, if you think I’m going to allow you to rob me of my city’s-”

  His voice was filtered out of the room as Diane’s hand glowed and she started rubbing her temples. “Kat, your thoughts on this? I’m leaning towards nightmare fuel, let him see what sort of things we’ve had to face, so he knows exactly what we face on a normal basis.”

  Kat shrugged before checking the sheathing on her sword. “We could take a souvenir, so as to allow mayors after this one know that we’re done taking their shit. I’ve even heard of a band of mercs who take their employer’s hands if they argued prices with them. Treat them as they treat thieves and what not.”

  Diane sighed as the mayor became quiet, only now noticing that he had been silenced. “Where would we put the hands though to keep that reputation? We don’t need heavier packs, especially since I usually end up carrying more than half the equipment.” Diane then shivered. “Besides, I like to think we’re above brutes like that.”

  The mayor nodded while Kat rolled her eyes. “Fine, we’ll just take one of his ring fingers then. That sound good? I could even start a necklace, like the one my dad used to wear.”

  Diane put a hand to her lips, just before the poor man started shaking his head frantically. “I’m almost certain his thumb would be far more efficient, as it’s easier to make a clean cut then, but that is taking into consideration that we’re even weighing this as an option.” It was only then that she noticed the poor sap beside her and snapped her fingers. “Your thoughts sir? How would we get you to fear us?”

  “I’ll give you an extra twenty gold pieces each for my negligence, but only if you go, now!”

  Kat snickered at the pampered, old fool. “Darn, and here I was hoping to get to have a little fun. Maybe even accessorize.”

  Diane tried not to smile as she took the gold from him and started leading her companion out. “I would have thought the last mayor was enough fun to tide you over for a while, so no. Instead, let’s leave this nice man alone. He looks mighty ill, and I don’t like to pick on the wounded.”

  Kat looked back as they closed the door, a wide grin on her face. “Bye, nice man!”[1]

  Once outside the building, they both looked at each other and burst into laughter, their old routine having worked again. After about the fifth time you got shafted by an employer as an adventurer, you got creative about how to keep them honest. Diane stopped chortling first as she tried to walk into the street. “I really wish we didn’t always have to do that.”

  Kat shrugged as her sides finally stopped shaking. “ Mayors are dicks.[2] [3] It’s just how it goes.”

  “I suppose.” Diane reached into her bag and pulled out a list she had made two weeks ago, and then remade last night. Each item detailed just how much of what they would need. Happy with what she saw, she stashed it back into her bag and pointed forward. “I suppose it’s to the market first, and then the blacksmith.”

  Kat’s ears twitched at that, and she grinned at her friend. “I wonder what sorts of meat they have. I hear the cows in this area are-”

  “No.”

  “But Diane, don’t you want to-”

  Diane, in one fluid motion, reached over, brought her pointer finger and thumb together, and flicked Kat’s nose. A small crackle accompanied the moment of impact, and a mild curse escaped the shorter woman as a bolt of lightning passed through her body. “Ah, you didn’t have to shock me!”

  A small hum escaped Diane as they got onto the main streets of the town. For now, they were fine, as only a few people were passing by to take care of their work. Soon they would enter the market though, where loose pockets meant losing one’s coinpurse, either to a vendor wanting more than what something was worth, or from the thieves that passed by. “I remember what happened last time we bought a land’s ‘delicacy’, and I don’t want a repeat of the mutant, undead chicken incident.”

  Kat sighed as she glanced at the one of the farmer’s table and the glistening haunches of meat that were waiting for someone to buy them. “Come on, Diane! You have to admit that after we killed it seven times, it tasted so good!”[4]

  Diane tried to push the thought from her mind, remembering better how her part came back for one more round before she could enjoy her meal, and turned to one of the nearby fruit stalls. “Excuse me, but do you have any dried fruits or preserves for sale?”

  Kat let her shoulders slump, but stayed quiet. While she liked to argue for
better supplies, she did it mostly for both of their amusements. Besides, the one time Kat had been left to her own devices with their money, they had to take any work they could from the next town to float them to the next, larger pay off. Even slaying rats. So, quiet she stayed, letting her companion get to work. Unfortunately, another, from within the throng of people in the center of the market, decided not to stay so quiet.

  “Gertrude, save yourself from the corruption of that witch, and spare your fruits from her magic before she makes them all rot!”

  Both girls froze as a murmur ran through the crowd, but nothing more. Like so many other towns, they were reacting to their local friar’s yelling, rather than the words themselves, and wanted to continue on their way. Unfortunately, that was not an option for the two of them, as the burly man quickly made his way over to them. While the white robes over his body were nothing new, the glint of gold on around his neck and the shine of jewels on his fingers forced Diane to mouth, ‘fraud’, at Kat, who merely pinched the bridge of her nose as they waited for this idiot to pass.

  This meant listening to him first, as he raised both of his hands to the sky. “My lady Kesra can see you for what you truly are, plague setter, and I will not have you stay here. I cannot force you out, of course, but I implore you to leave, lest pestilence come, and the townsfolk see through your disguise as I do.”

  Diane’s eyes narrowed as a subtle popping came from the ends of her sleeves. She wasn’t about to let the bigot see her annoyance though, not when she could dismiss him without giving the annoyance its satisfaction. She raised one hand to her chest, holding it close in a fist, before extending it away, and letting go of the natural, healing energy within them all, as were told in the Kesral teachings. “Hello, good friar, and may you be having a blessed, and pure, day under the protection of Kesra herself.”

  The man paled at the response, and turned to the sound of snickering, only to see Kat trying to not completely lose it. “What are you laughing at, demon familiar? Do you not-”